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The Worst Cat in the World
I have a very bad cat. His name is Eli. He lives in the unfinished half of my basement, and…
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The Anti-Bucket List
There are so many things I don’t want to do. Ever. Because of decency. Because of personal tastes. But mostly…
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Technical Difficulties, Vol. 3
I premature ejac-posted tomorrow’s post while trying to edit it on my phone WHILE drinking. *shrug* I’m sorry. It will…
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Guest Post: The Pigs Were Important
NOTE: This is the second in a series of guest posts scheduled to run while I’m away from real life.…
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The Bookend Dreams
I woke suddenly and sat up. Terror reverberating throughout every piece of me. Breathe. I looked over. My five-year-old son…
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If My Grandma Married a Liam Neeson Movie Character
My grandmother is almost 80 years old. She is the sweetest, kindest human being who has ever existed. Anyone who…
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My 15 Minutes
They say everyone gets theirs. Fifteen minutes. And near as I can tell, this is mine. Today, WordPress has featured…
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Things I Learned About Myself From My Baby Book
I once shit my pants four times during a wedding and everyone in the church heard each one. Four times.…
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How to Be the Worst Paperboy
I grew up poor. In a Catholic school with uniforms and predominantly wealthy classmates. We weren’t, like, destitute. The lights…
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The Catch-22
Chest heaving, tears running down my face, the words pour out of me. I couldn’t hold them in if I…
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