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The Worst Cat in the World
I have a very bad cat.
His name is Eli.
He lives in the unfinished half of my basement, and…
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The Anti-Bucket List
There are so many things I don’t want to do. Ever.
Because of decency.
Because of personal tastes.
But mostly…
Technical Difficulties, Vol. 3
I premature ejac-posted tomorrow’s post while trying to edit it on my phone WHILE drinking.
*shrug*
I’m sorry.
It will…
Guest Post: The Pigs Were Important
NOTE: This is the second in a series of guest posts scheduled to run while I’m away from real life.…
The Bookend Dreams
I woke suddenly and sat up. Terror reverberating throughout every piece of me.
Breathe.
I looked over. My five-year-old son…
If My Grandma Married a Liam Neeson Movie Character
My grandmother is almost 80 years old.
She is the sweetest, kindest human being who has ever existed. Anyone who…
My 15 Minutes
They say everyone gets theirs.
Fifteen minutes.
And near as I can tell, this is mine.
Today, WordPress has featured…
Things I Learned About Myself From My Baby Book
I once shit my pants four times during a wedding and everyone in the church heard each one.
Four times.…
How to Be the Worst Paperboy
I grew up poor.
In a Catholic school with uniforms and predominantly wealthy classmates.
We weren’t, like, destitute. The lights…
The Catch-22
Chest heaving, tears running down my face, the words pour out of me.
I couldn’t hold them in if I…
