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How to Be a Man
I’m going to turn 35 in 2014. Just a few short months from now.
My life is not what I…
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Almost Murdered in Peoria
It started the same as every horror movie you’ve ever seen, minus the part where I got to have sex…
The Overdue Library Books
I’m coming unraveled.
And I’m angry.
At myself. At my ex-wife. At my life.
But mostly, it’s just me.
Own…
How to Accept Gifts
I am historically bad at accepting gifts from anyone who is not my mom or dad.
I get a little…
The Writing Itch and a Love Song for One
I woke up today and thought to myself for the first time in my entire life: I can write a…
Remember to Remember
I was just paging through an old photo album my mom gave me during my Thanksgiving visit.
I was little…
Nothing is Sound
We were standing in the kitchen, drinking, but not yet buzzed.
There was a small party at our house, but…
From Now On Our Troubles Will Be Miles Away
The stockings are hung by the chimney with care.
Minus one.
The Christmas tree is up. No lights or ornaments…
How to Live a Regret-Free Life
You’re going to die.
Just like me.
It might be in 80 years.
It might be in 10.
It might…
The Tooth Fairy: An Economic Analysis
My five-year-old son has loose teeth. Three of them.
One may come out as soon as today.
He’s pretty excited…
