January 2014

How to Be the Worst Paperboy
I grew up poor. In a Catholic school with uniforms and predominantly wealthy classmates. We weren’t, like, destitute. The lights…
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Dating After Divorce: An Exercise in Relearning
In the 1860s, despite relatively widespread use of keyboards for writing and professional communication, businessmen investing in typewritten communications were…
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The Catch-22
Chest heaving, tears running down my face, the words pour out of me. I couldn’t hold them in if I…
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The Roommate Dilemma
I live unsustainably. I’ve known it for a while, but it really became evident when I was kicking around how…
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A Glimpse
There’s a U.S. military arsenal not far from where I live—adjacent to the small township in which my ex-wife grew…
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Two Parts Hydrogen, One Part Oxygen
Even holed up in a hospital bed for the first time since 1970, my father was still sympathetic to my…
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Don’t Come With Me if You Want to Live
I threw in my lot with most of you a long time ago. And by “most of you,” I mean…
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How to Feel Grateful, Vol. 3
The bitter cold moved in throughout the evening Monday. Even with the house thermostat set to 71 degrees, and the…
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An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. 5
“So what you are saying is, I need to help you around the house and with the kids whether I…
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How to Fail at Ignoring Jehovah’s Witnesses
I was pacing around the house as I often do while talking on the phone. We were discussing the Cleveland…
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