In an effort to evolve this blog and maybe have a little fun or some great conversation, I launched a page called Ask Me Stuff which you should go read.
I want you to ask me things because it will create some new content opportunities and because maybe I’ll accidentally help someone once or twice.
Let’s call it a social experiment.
For anyone inclined, I appreciate your time and contribution very much.
What is the worst decision you have ever made?
Do you mean like Ann Landers? Do you remember her?
Leslie
God forbid I pretend like I’m Ann Landers, but yes. Essentially that.
The key difference would be, I’m not as smart as Ann, and sometimes I’ll be less serious. And almost certainly will be more long-winded. 🙂
You’re just as smart as Ann Landers. She did have a sense of humour too. (I think you would need it)
Leslie
What do you think of marriage being turned into a lease type contract of 5 years so very 5 years, you renegotiate, resign or renew? No kids unless you sign 20 years? It sounds great to me – without kids though because kids are the game changer. I know it’s crazy but think how it would recalibrate your mindset. I think it would make us consider so many things besides love that are important to success, imo.
Since women are better able to handle the emotional roller coaster that is dating while not-quite-divorced than men are, what do you think of men being banned from the dating world until the divorce is finalized and they have undergone some kind of therapy appropriate to their situation? If nothing else, it may propel the signing of agreements! I find that the man I’m seeing now, who will claim himself a victim of PTSD (he and his ex have been fighting for over 4 years) is moodier than a teenage girl. He warned me at the very beginning that he couldn’t really be there for me emotionally because of it, and I wouldn’t be hanging around him still if not for the simple fact that we have a great time together and have a really great connection. So, for now, I back away when his mood swings lower than the sewer and I hold on to those moments when he’s high and relaxed and more himself. Thoughts, Matt?
You talk about the bottom being pulled out from under you a lot and how to move forward – I’m wondering if you think ur ex felt the same way? Like she tried and tried to get through to you and eventually made the decision to leave. I am the one who initiated the divorce from my husband, and I felt like you describe, but was still in the relationship trying to save it when I felt that way… Just wondering if you thought about that? I felt depressed, alone, experienced the deafening quiet, etc that you discuss, but my husband was still in the house. Think both partners feel that devastation just at different times? I read your posts and I feel bad for my soon to be ex, and then I remember that I felt that way too, just years ago… When he’s probably feeling it now… Not trying to criticize, just wondering if u think she felt how you felt as well? I started reading ur blog from the beginning, and am up to Sept 2014, so forgive me if u discussed this already. I’ve been finding your writing really helpful in this horrible process. Especially the shitty husband posts – at least now my family somewhat understands why I made this decision, because they are hugely unsupportive of me…
If your ex wife woke up one day and realised you were the best guy out there, not perfect, not the best for everyone, but the best for her and your son, would you consider reconciling?
I happen to know of a couple who had two boys then divorced, were apart for about 10 years then got back together and had two more boys, 15 years younger than the eldest.